The Televised Courtroom

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The Televised Courtroom

Post by tocyvi on Thu Oct 31, 2013 1:32 pm

Today marked an incredibly exciting day in the history of the Appeals Court; cameras were allowed in to watch the nerve-wracking, tortuous, electrifying, rip-roaring back and forth of the law in action.

I tuned in, expecting to see a swarthy-faced gentleman being dragged from the court, swearing to “get even wiv the bastards wot stitched me up like a kipper”; or a bewigged Rumpole-like figure letting forth with a stream of ironic epithets in defence of some innocent bystander, brought to the court by an uncaring, smug middle-class complainant; or perhaps a re-run of Peter Cook’s stalwart defence of Jeremy Thrope (sic); or maybe a calm, dispassionate, but nevertheless destructive attack a la Perry Mason, in a determined and single minded legal pursuit of an odious, vicious and heartless criminal, who, in the relentless onslaught of question, counter-question and bald fact, dissolves into a pathetic wreck of tears, humiliation and degradation.

After 30 seconds, it was pretty obvious to me that I was going to be severely disappointed. I was treated to a seemingly endless series of statements, delivered in a plodding fashion by some chap in a wig who looked pretty normal. I mean, what sort of entertainment is that? Where was that final and unexpected flourish that brings a gasp of disbelief from an otherwise sympathetic crowd of onlookers? Where was the 7” stiletto blade (exhibit no 3), still brown and gruesome from the congealed blood of a hapless victim? Where were the indignant calls of “Objection, your Honour” from the Defence team and the consequent scolding of the Prosecution Counsel, by an outraged and red-faced judge?

Well, I’m sorry to be so negative but I just can’t see it competing with X Factor, Corrie or Celebrity Bake-Off. There’s no humour, no nudity, no phone-ins asking if YOU think he’s guilty, no diminutive Windsor lookalike demanding that you “ge’ aht ov my Court”.

If you want to make a go of it, you’re going to have to get Bruce Forsythe as the judge saying “and what do points make?” when faced with a driver with a series of speeding tickets. That’s the sort of thing to boost the viewing numbers. But it’ll never happen and that’s why the law will always be an ass.


Last edited by tocyvi on Thu Oct 31, 2013 1:38 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : added text)
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Re: The Televised Courtroom

Post by Tony H on Thu Oct 31, 2013 3:40 pm

Drama versus real life ... no comparison. UK courts are boring at the best of times. Appeals courts are even worse as it is mostly legal and technical arguments that person was convicted wrongly in the first place.

Perhaps you have hit on an idea.. instead of a normal jury we could have a phone in for the verdict.. Ye or Nay ! Trial by several million peers Laughing 

What channel was it on  ??

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Re: The Televised Courtroom

Post by tocyvi on Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:44 pm

Tony H wrote:Drama versus real life ... no comparison. UK courts are boring at the best of times. Appeals courts are even worse as it is mostly legal and technical arguments that person was convicted wrongly in the first place.

Perhaps you have hit on an idea.. instead of a normal jury we could have a phone in for the verdict.. Ye or Nay ! Trial by several million peers Laughing 

What channel was it on  ??
Hi Tony H
I was watching it on BBC News until I nodded off with excitement.

The idea of a phone-in verdict would work better if we still had capital punishment. Just imagine: Albert Pierrepont's great grandson dressed in a glitzy onesie, knotted rope akimbo, with a thermometer on either side of the screen. These would gradually fill up with black or white fluid, as the votes come in. As the commentator bigs up our would-be executioner ("Heeeeeeeerrrrrreeees Albie!!!!!"), the camera cuts to a cameo of Albie, measuring up the potential victim, whilst giving a running commentary on the state of play:

"Is Mr Smith heading for a fall, viewers? Will you be our lucky millionth caller and get the opportunity to join our audience to watch the hanging live in the studio?"

I think it could work.
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Re: The Televised Courtroom

Post by Tony H on Thu Oct 31, 2013 7:35 pm

You certainly have a way with words lol!

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