Tales fro a hospital bed

Hi folks  
Its Simmo again, well as requested by blakevine i am with time on my hands going to tell you about the french man they put in the two bed room with me at Tulle hospital shortly after my stroke. firstly i woke up to find a lady of about 50 staring down at me and talking french at me like a machine gun, the frightning thing was she was dressed all in black like one of those goths. i thought i must have died or i needed to talk to my doctor about changing my tablets .
Well after pointing out i was english and with my french she might as well been talking to some one from another plant. The man was so big they put him on a diet from day one and said they could do nothing for his back pain till he lost at least 40klgs,His wife kicked of screaming and shouting at the doctors/nurses that her poor baby need his food and was not fat and asked me my opion. Not one to mince my words and not like seeing doctors and nurses abused i got stuck in saying i,d seen thinner french men and not many as big (well thats what i thought i said) but apparently not ),well she took off on one and the doctors and nurses had to leave the room as they did,not want to fall about laughing in front of her. (I think i must have mixed the word pig up somewehre in the conversation).
The next thing they had paid for the hospital TV and could not get it to work and demanded the doctors/nurses to  stop everything and sort the tele out,i think the doctor must have told them to go away in french because she took of on one again. They finally had  it fixed by the tele lady and he had it on all day from 0830hrs till1130 hrs till i complained i could not get any rest.
The next thing as he was put on a diet she start smuggling food into him and the hospital staff could not understand why he was not loosing wieght and his blood suger was so high,i woke up in the middle of one night to find him troughing a box of six cream cakes . Needless to say they started to stop and search her when she visited and take all his little treats off her,and again she went off on one. they even had to stop all his other visitors as she had got them smuggling food for him as well.
The final day before the doctors and nurses took pity on me and moved me to a single room was when a lady doctor found out his wife was ringing him up to10 times a day  to find out if he had been to the toilet, what he had for breakfast,then lunch and finally dinner. Finally they kicked him out as they said all they were doing was wasting drugs and they needed the bed for a patient interested in getting better.  

footnote. Blakevine saw them at our local market,he was walking about shopping with no apprent problem.me i was just glad for a bit of peace and quiet.

Simmo from hospital in the high Correze.

Oh Simmo, your story had me laughing out loud! Mind you, I felt very sorry for you being in that madhouse.
I hope you're writing all this down, along with your other funny stories, I reckon you could get a book out of them one day!

What are you like, Simmo! Must say I was a bit surprised to see your fellow inmate at the market - at least I think it was him (bearing in mind I'd only seen him with no clothes on) - yes it was him! Your trauma of sharing a room with him has prompted me to make sure that the "top up" insurance we are currently considering has the "chambre particuliere" on it - ie no mad fool or relatives likely to invade my space.....hope that doesn't sound too jumped up....